
”These hands. The hands that heal; the hands that hold; the hands we desire because they are better than desire.”
10 days ago was the 1st anniversary of Laurence’s birth, our daughter. What an interesting ride it has been. Every single day since June 5th 2007, we see our child grow and let me tell you it’s an unexplainable feeling. She is now walking a few steps at the time, she is answering our questions by a ”uuiii” or a ”ooon” and even rearranging our furnitures
. I’m quite amazed on how fast the communication between our child and us been established. Her reaction to harmonics is a very pretty sight. She is without any doubt enamoured by everything that comes out of the stereo. I’ve found some cheesy lullaby rendition of Radiohead and The Cure songs and that put here to sleep easily. I’m even in the process of recording her a minimalist shoegaze tune. It’s a neat evolution of the senses.
A year ago, Emily and I started our family in southern california. It was a perfect situation, we were both very happy about the event. Our beautiful daughter had a perfect health; this is something we all pretty much take for granted but still it was a blessing. We learned to love this little creature. We learned what parenthood is all about. We found joy in what we though were to be compromises. As for myself, I found out, even if the boundaries are well defined, that I’m capable of actually loving someone. To this day, there are only 4 persons that I can associate with this emotion; Laurence, my mom, Emily and Lydia. I will do absolutely everything I can to protect them. I won’t be dodging any bullet. Of course they’ve been some flirting games along the way but nothing came close to step ahead the ”I’m fond of you” level… It’s a very good thing that Emily and I are back together for good.
A year from now, Laurence will be speaking clearly and probably will start counting things. (We won’t push her to pre-pre-pre-school like those idiotic suburbs cunts are doing to their pre-suicidal spoiled brats.) She’ll be more and more active. I picture her swimming, riding a bike and falling. I see her learning to fall and rise back. Never give up something you enjoy doing and take pride in it. I see life and it carries me through. I see her existence as a pure bliss. Look at her go, this is our child.
4 years from now, Laurence will attend her first day at school. She will be in a process of building her persona. She will be well raised with good values about relationship, finding positivity in every situation , caring about others and never underestimate what she’s capable of. She will learn to learn; learn to win and to fail. She will discover that our world’s boundaries are more far than she conceived before.
15 years from now, Laurence will learn about relationship. Maybe she will already know about which career would fit her the most. She will learn to make choices and to deal with the consequences of them. At that age, she’ll be looking ahead.
25 years from now, Laurence will be a full grown woman. By full grown I mean the ability to live in the adult’s world. Were never be fully grown up. We are pliable, we are there to learn all of our lives long. Maybe our daughter will have a family of her own… she’ll be looking at the present day. We will embrace the life she gave to this world. A beautiful sight that is.
”These hands. The hands that care, the hands that mold: the hands that touch the lips, the lips that speak the words. The words that tell us we are whole”
Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »











